Sewing Prayers

Everytime I sew, it is so therapeutic. When I am overwhelmed, I sew. When I am excited, I sew. When I am creative, well, you get the picture...And sometimes, like today, I want to completely sew and shut out the world. I want to immerse myself in the whirring sound of the motor and the needle humming to forget what lies ahead...I want to sew and pray...pray and sew...
Today, I will watch a family, say goodbye to their loved one and I will ache for them. I will ache because I want to take away their pain, wrap my arms around them, whisper calm scriptures in their ears. For one beautiful, beautiful young woman, there will be pain, so much pain that I have prayed constantly that she will be able to live through it. For today, today she will bury her sister. A sister with whom there were many struggles...
Since my sisters were lil girls, I have struggled to protect them. I have raced to beat the Boogie Man to their door. I have helped our mother feed them, clothe them, and drag them through life lessons. I have loved them. Cried with them. Laughed with them. Adored them. But never, never have I had to bury one of them.
There is a bond between sisters that is sometimes spoken, but more often not, that no matter what we say, what we do, or even what we don't do, that with sisters, we can always take it back. But sometimes, just sometimes, Life kicks us in the teeth with this horrid, unexpected death. And we forget. We forget that about our bond. We forget that our earliest playmate will always love us for ever. We forget that unlike marriage the binding ties between sisters is forever. And so, we are filled with misplaced guilt that overrides our rational thinking allowing the devil to have a field day inside our minds as if suffering a loss is not huge enough. We allow it to destroy our self esteem and not concentrate on the joy of the bittersweet memories. We allow this horrid, nasty guilt to betray that sacred, unspoken bond with our sister and promise to take our very sanity and self esteem in the making.
But, it is there. That bond, that sisterhood is still there. How do I know? Because, my sweet fellow sister, I watch you. I watch you softly, quietly sift through her pictures. I watch you masterfully mother her children. I watch you welcome fellow mourners with whispers of hope. I watch you quietly gaze at her casket, reaching out to make sure her hair is tucked by her face just so.
Please, please do not let this guilt eat at you. You are okay, you and your sister. She is watching you now. She is proud, so proud of her Lil Sissy. She knew she could count on you to plan, to please, to pray...She and God watching you, loving you, eagerly awaiting you to let this devil created guilt to leave so that they can ease you through these moments through her Valley with gentle, splendid love.
Your bond is still there little one. It is just a bit quieter, more tender, and easier to maintain. Love her today, but more importantly, allow her to love you...because in the end she needs you more than she ever has...you are no longer lil girls playing dolls, you are her only link, the only one who can give to her children and family here on earth. She would want that. But more importantly, she would want you to be happy, joyous, and safe as you continue your journey to meet her when you get Home...