Last night as I cuddled my little granddaughter, J'Lynnie, I realized that the first thing I do before I hoist her on my lap, is grab a "blankie". I bring her to my chest, wrap that blankie around her, and begin to softly croon lullabies while quietly rocking and rubbing her little body. She loves this, all children do. They like the hush sounds, the gentle touches; the assured security. Security. A word that, unfortunately, isn't always being considered in this day and age to be a factor in properly caring for youngsters. And to me, that is a sad testimony to our culture and society.
I guess I didn't really grow up with a true sense of security. I was never really sure what was going to happen at home from one day to the next. Life was chaotic. Drinking, failing marriages, and no money, were all a lot for a small child to know about. So when I entered adulthood and starting having children of my own, my whole goal in their little lives was to make sure that they had a safe and secure upbringing. To me security means a home where they can come and find refuge when life gets too tough. A place that smells like fresh baked cookies and crumbs on the floor. A place that when the lights go out at night, there are no monsters, just beautiful dimly lit rooms filled with memories made in love. Security to a child means never knowing that the bills may not be paid or that the "wolf" is at the door. It means enough food in the fridge to fill a gnawing tummy and a tall glass of fresh water in a clean glass. It means daily washed clothes that smell of perfume. It means looking out in the stands and knowing your parents are there watching your every play of the game. It means they'll be there waiting with a smile after you've won or lost and never chastising you for the latter. It means a hot bath with bubbles and water all over the floor and not getting yelled at because they forgot they weren't in swimming pool. Security means eating nightly dinners together at the table and laughing when someone farts or food shoots out their nose. It simply means putting your children first. Making sure that they have a childhood full of goofy pranks and silly dreams. It means when life knocks them down, their parent is there to pick them up, put them in their arms, and wrap a blankie around them so tight, that the world and it's ugliness goes away, at least for a little while.
Every child or grandchild in my home has a special blankie sewn or picked out by me. Before I gave birth to my daughters, I handstiched each little girl her own special blankie. Before we adopted our children, each one had a handmade blankie waiting on their bed for them. I did it so that they would always know that their Momma loved and prepared a special home for them even before they came to live fwith us forever. Each child has been wrapped in their blankie, sung their own personal lullaby, and tucked in safe at night. Every night that same blankie was snuggled right up under their chin with a smooch placed firmly on their faces. My children have drug those blankies everywhere, to the grocery store, to the playground, to their forts, even to their married homes. They know that with those blankies comes a sense of home, love, safety, and more important security.
I know it sounds silly, maybe even childish, but I sleep with a blankie myself. When the long day has ended and I feel even the least little bit ill, I go to the wall hanging, pull off my blankie, and climb into bed, cuddling under it for a sense of safety. And somehow, it works. I fall right to sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and alert. What is special about my blankie is that my daughter quilted it for me. Each stitch was her attempt at making me feel loved and secure. Is it beautiful? Sure it is, but it could be the ugliest blanket in the world and I would still display it proudly because it was made in love. Even my husband Tim has a blankie given to him from Kayla, and he too has been secretly known (when he is ill of course), to pull it off it's hanger and crawl up underneath it. Blankies are not just for kids, even we adults need them when our world becomes more than we can bear.
I guess what I'm getting at here, is that children are cute. We can dress them up. We can play with them. But if we, as parents and grandparents, don't take the time to pick out a blankie with them, and give them some nurturing and cuddling, then we are going to end up with a society filled with children who have no sense of security. A society where human life in disposable. A life where we get tired of our children and stop making them our first priority. A world full of money sucking vacuums, that exist purely to fill the hole created by a false sense of security. Is that what we as parents want? Of course not, but if we look around, that's what we have.
So today, go home to your children. Listen to their insignificant babble. Hoist them up on your lap, gently kiss their face, and tell them they matter more than your own goals. And then wrap a blankie around them and just sit quietly holding the most precious gift of all....life.
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