And so I waited, and waited, and waited. Suddenly, there was a hush, and as my son-in-law's mother stood by me with our ears pressed against the door, we heard a cry. At first it was soft, but then it became very loud and feisty. Finally, a "Grammie and Nanna" were born! I grabbed her hand and raced with Katie as fast as I could back to the waitingroom to wait for Ben to tell us the good news. We could hear the nurses snickering as we ran because they actually propped the door open so we could hear what was going on in that hospital room.
Ten minutes later Ben appeared with the biggest blessing of my life, my Grandson, Caleb Owen Aronin.
I just stared. He was so beautiful. We went down to the room and after they cleaned him up a bit, they placed him in my arms and that was it. I would never be the same. My heart melted as I saw our future together in the years to come where I would do anything to make this child happy. He looked deep into my eyes in that moment and I began to croon to him, my heart dancing inside that this new life would actually be mine to share in forever. And of course, he was perfect. I kissed his hands, his little toes, checked him out in every way that they'd let me.
I looked over at my daughter, Lacey, and I realized that our bond would never be the same. She was a mother now and I would have to step back and let her mother and love her child in her own way and not my way. I would have to hush my mouth and only give advice when it was sought, not when it could be rendered. I would have to watch her make mistakes, flounder, and perhaps shed many tears. That would be hard for an overprotective mother and now grandmother like me. But I could do it. I could and would be the best Grammie that this child would ever have....
The Best Grandma...
I would stand at the doorway yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs, "Is she here yet? Where is she Momma? I want Grandma Marian now!" I would wait by the door forever for her because she was the best. Then soon, as we pressed our noses up against the window, she would pull in the drive, get out with her little bag of treats and head for the door.
"Grandma's here and boy did I bring you some fun treats to day!" she'd giggle and one by one she would hand out the greatest treats in the world. There would be decorated cookies, designer candy, and small toys. We would look up at her with such love, wonder, and amazement, thanking her over and over as she stood looking down on us in all her glory.
The other kids would always scamper off and leave, but I would not. I would sit at my Grandma's feet and play while she and my mother had coffee and chatted and gossipped. I would learn all of the juicy stuff that happened everywhere. The aroma of coffee and cigarettes would fill the air as they laughed and chuckled for what seemed like hours. Oh how I loved her!
She would take me, her "Dolly" every Friday that she could, down to the hair salon and buy me a candy bar and a coke. I would be in a cute little dress (Grandma loved cute little dresses), and I would sit with my feet dangling from a big hairdryer chair. I would hang on every word that me Grandma and the other women would say. They would talk about the soap opera Days of Our Lives, and men, and all the events of the day. Every now and then Grandma would say, "Gads" which I knew meant that they had crossed the line in conversation and shocked Grandma. The conversation would quickly change and more talk would ensue. Then we would leave and have lunch across town at the boarding house with Blanche (who wore enough make-up to scare any child), and I would play with her white poodle with the bow and red nail polish. What heaven! Those days as a child with Grandma made life worth living!
As I grew up, we began to have different traditions, go out for Belgian waffles (her favorite), go to a banquet, go shopping, and later I'd take her and help her run errands. I would spend many Saturdays hemming her pants, sewing her dresses, and listening to the latest gossip. Her "fitting sessions" were like going back in time for me when I laid at her feet and listened to she and my mother gossip the afternoon away. I could, as a young teenager and adult confide everything to her. She would listen intently, giving her opinion, and then watching to see if I was going to adhere to what she said (sometimes I did not) or go my own way. If I went down the wrong path, she was always, always there to support me. She was everything every little girl could want in a Grandma. She was pink carnations and Jergen's lotion and mint green. She was pretty birthday packages, pretty cakes, and a perfectionist. She was and is, one of the strongest influences I have ever known.
Then one early morning the phone rang. You know the call that no one wants to get? Tim looked at me, his face taunt, "Honey, Grandma Marian's gone. Sweetness, she passed away from a heart attack at home!".....the pain that ensued and the great loss I felt, has still and will always leave a deep scarring hole in my heart for a woman who meant more to me then any other woman in the world...
I spoke at her funeral, reading this poem that I had written earlier the previous day. With a heart heavy with grief, I paid homage to the best "Grandma" in the world.....
"Grandma's Dolly"
The baby cried so softly,
as she peered from through the glass,
her prayers were finally answered,
her "Dolly" was here at last.
The "Dolly" she adored her,
it was a "love at first sight",
a life-long bond was formed between them,
that late January night.
She spoiled the little toddler,
buying her candy and a pop,
the two became a common sight,
Fridays at the beauty shop
Dolly'd listen to the gossip,
watch the lady "tease " her hair,
Dolly's feet would dangle loudly
as she sipped cola from her chair.
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tenders fears
as only Grandmas can.
Sometimes she'd call up Dolly, and take her to a play
or meet for Belgium waffles,
and laugh til their sides ached.
Dolly'd send her pink carnations,
the only flower that would do,
they seem to make her happiest,
and say, "I sure love you!"
Together they'd go shopping,
of course they'd buy mint green,
it wasn't Dolly's favorite color,
but to her it was so keen.
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tender fears
as only Grandmas can.
One day Dolly came to see her,
she made a big mistake,
Dolly found out that she was pregnant,
unwed choices left to make.
Dolly thought that she would hate her,
because she'd brought to her this shame,
but she opened her arms and held her
telling Dolly there'd be no blame.
It wouldn't be the first time
her Dolly'd make an awful choice,
but she'd never condemn her precious girl,
her nays she'd never voice,
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tender fears
as only Grandmas can.
Then came the dreaded phone call,
Dolly'd "Favorite" she was ill,
her heart was medically broken
they couldn't fix it with a pill.
they couldn't fix it with a pill.
But Dolly wouldn't leave her there
she drove sixty miles each way,
to see her treasured loved one
each and every day.
The doctors seemed to fix her,
she healed and felt brand new,
Dolly'd watch her live her life again
and thank God for miracles too.
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tender fears
as only Gramdmas can.
The years they passed so swiftly
and Dolly had finally grown,
a wedding, a home, eight children,
a family of her own.
Yet she never ever wavered,
she'd send all the grandkids a gift,
never missed a Christmas or birthday,
their happiness her only wish.
And though their were few visits,
few gifts and ne'er a call,
she loved each and every grandchild,
it was her only fault.
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tender fears
as only Grandmas can.
She loved her precious Dolly
and never said a word,
as Dolly's family moved so far away,
only distant voices to be heard.
Her eyes began to falter,
she couldn't see a thing,
she longed for Dolly's visits,
and Christmas bells yet ti ring.
And oh how they would celebrate
and catch up on the news,
making the most of those valued times,
for now they were so few.
And...
all I ever had to do
was reach for Grandma's hand,
she gently soothed my tender fears
as only Grandmas can.
She stepped out of the auto,
she reached for Dolly's hand,
she held it tightly to steady herself,
until she could finally stand.
the lady she was waiting,
to fix her Gramma's hair,
as Dolly sat down beside her,
with her cola and her chair.
her feet no longer dangled
as her eyes filled up with tears,
and she watched her treasured Gramma
turn older through the years.
And...
All she ever had to do
was reach for Dolly's hand,
she gently sothed her tender fears
as only Granddaughters can.
I do not have my Grandma,
she has gone to be with God.
her hand I shall never hold again,
it seems so very odd.
I so miss being her "Dolly"
and though I'm all full grown,
I'll always be the little girl
who had the finest Grandma ever known.
with love,
always,
Kari "Dolly" Burd
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